Cautious Optimism
Hoo boy I'd really like to get back into the groove of writing these. Well, here I am.
I've made more progress in the last month than I have in the entire year prior. Progress as a person, I mean. My character and all that. Mental health, too, but that's a direct result of said progress. It all started with that List that I'm pretty sure I mentioned 20 days ago in my last post. Total game changer. I'm finally learning all these basic life habits that are the bread and butter of adulthood. It may seem super obvious when I phrase it this way, but I can't change my lifestyle through sheer force of will. I spent so much time wondering if I was lying to myself about caring about my goals when I really just needed practice. I feel like a complete fool in hindsight, and I only hope I can continue to learn things that make me feel that way. I have so many failed attempts at change under my belt, but it feels realistically doable this time thanks to simple consistency. Turns out I just had to flip a switch in my head to its "not optional" position to do things like go outside every day.
So now I'm undertaking something ambitous, with the guidance of my therapist and a whole slew of sub-goals to make it more manageable. Over the next five months I'll be making an EP. I've decided I'm going back to full-time college this fall, and it's really important to me that I finish a legit project by then that I can point to when people ask me what I do (musically). I'm gonna do at least one demo a week for the next nine weeks, and I'll have another couple months to finish the 5-6 best tracks. It's daunting, but if I've ever been up for the challenge, it's now.
I'm still so, so far from where I want to be, but being a little bit closer every day makes it actually feel doable. I'm proud of the recent strides I've made. Here's to more!